This could be seen as a cop out…
Scott White
…but I’d argue that actually this is a lot of work.
I’m going to play three Game Boy Advance, chosen at random, for five minutes each and then I’ll review them.
Game number one: Defender by Midway
It’s a remake of the classic Defender game, but with the kind of flashy graphics only the Game Boy Advance could provide.
In five minutes I was able to play the first six levels, called Earth 1 - 3 and Space 1 - 3 and one bonus level. It looks good, plays fine and the noise of the wee humans getting killed made me laugh every time. I liked that you play the bonus level in portrait mode, which is always a wee treat.
No urge to ever play it again, but fun.
6/10
Game number two: Heidi the Game by Independent Arts
It’s a remake of the classic Heidi the Game…oh wait. Heidi the Game is a platformer where you play as the titular Heidi the Game, and you run about the beautiful mountains of Austria? I’m not sure.
There’s a sing button, but I couldn’t find anything to sing at within five minutes. I jumped around the levels and ran out of lives when a fox kept knocking me into a waterfall. Music was fun though.
Not very good, no idea who this was made for.
4/10
Game number three: Planet Monsters by Titus
Never heard of this before and had not a single clue on how to play it until I had 30 seconds left on the timer.
It’s a game where you play as a Sesame Street knock-off and you kick blocks at other Sesame Street knock-offs until you kill them all. I suppose it’s a bit like Bomberman, but minus the fun.
It was very colourful and I could imagine being given it by an enthusiastic Aunt for a birthday.
Probably not bad, just very confusing.
5/10
There you go - definitely not a rushed article.
