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That Time We Played Arcade Games and Drank Beer


Arcade Games & Beer

at Tennent's Brewery


UPDATE: Tennent's have renamed "Tennent's Barcade" to "Tennent's Arcade" to avoid trouble with Barcade in New York. - Joe

Last night we were invited along to the Tennent's Brewery in Glasgow to play some arcade games and drink some beer. It was an offer we couldn't refuse. It was the launch night for Tennent's Barcade, which is the latest creation in the weird/wonderful/brilliant Wellpark universe. Starting from the end of July, four special arcade games will be touring Scottish pubs, each one a Scottish twist on arcade classics.


There's a face you'd need beer goggles to love...

First up, Wallie. The memories were in full flow with this one. Both Scott and I remember fondly the days where our lack of skills at proper football didn't matter so much, because we'd still be able to play wallie pretty decently. Our school had a massive wall you couldn't miss; you'd really have to try hard to be shite at kicking a ball off it.

Wallie, the arcade game, is pretty much Breakout but instead of a paddle you've got a choice of Wellpark's great and good to play as. Obviously I chose Tommy Toepunt. The closer you get to the wall before kicking the ball off it, the higher score you get. I'll be honest, I was a bit pish at this one, and that's only after one pint so god knows what I'd be like after a few Auchentoshans. There was a tennis version of Wallie as well but was I fuck trying that; I'd humiliated myself enough.


Me about to try my first attempt at Wallie

I ❤️ Tommy

A wee-er, faster ball? No thanks.


They're not lying

The next game we tried was like arcade classic Tapper but set at T in the Park. If you've ever dreamed about living the glamorous life of a T barman, then this is the game for you, ya weirdo. I'll admit, by the time we tried this one we'd both had a couple of drinks and we weren't really sure what we were doing. If this was a game review we'd be getting called out for being thoroughly unprofessional. The art was lovely though; perfectly 8-bit-ized versions of all the characters you see queuing for a pint at T in the Park. In fact, all the characters and all the games were drawn and created by Ken Clark with some help from Bit Socket pal Pablo Clark!


Scott pulls his first pint


I also ❤️ Bobby

But the game of the night had to be Chap-Door-Run. Look, we were nice boys when we were wee. You'd never find us harassing strangers by knocking their doors and running away. I mean, we like to think we were part of all that and pretend we were upto no good, but really we were as straight-laced as they come. So it was a pleasure to live vicariously through Bobby, the star of Chap-Door-Run; a man described as "flight of foot like an overweight gazelle".

Make no mistake, Chap-Door-Run is hard. Like Track n' Field meets Tomena Sanner (look it up, seriously) you have to frantically tap buttons or waggle the joystick to stay ahead of whoever's chasing you, be it an old granny, a wee dug or the weirdo from down the street. Scott discovered an unorthodox way of playing well was crossing over his arms and using the most strenuous motion he could to get moving, but it worked! The sweat was dripping off him, but the glory was worth it. The bonus rounds were great too; wee glimpses into games we used to play, like kerby.


That dug was hard to run away from

Watch out Bobby she's after you!

Scott switches up his technique...


So that was that. Four great wee games that will be touring around the country's pubs pretty soon. Apparently if you see a machine, you just need to buy a pint (of Tennent's obviously...) to get a token to play. We were lucky enough to get to try them all out, but I think it's a great wee idea for a promotion; I can see more folk crowding round and enjoying Chap-Door-Run than they would a puggy machine, with the air of depression them. So yeah, cheers to Tennent's for inviting us along!

If you want you can check out more pictures of playing the games on our facebook page. I don't know why you'd want to, unless you're a fan of seeing your two favourite videogame enthusiasts gurning and sweating profusely... Here's a few more for you to see here.


I struggle with Scott's patented chappie technique...

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